Laugh

Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan was once asked if there are any jokes in teh Talmud, and his response was, “yes, but they’re all old.” The God of Jews, Christians and Muslims has had a sense of humor from the beginning. The second patriarch, fulfilling God’s promise to Abraham is, indeed, named “Laughter,” which transliterated from Hebrew is “Isaac” (see Genesis 21:1-7). Although different senses of humor abound, it is hoped that at least something here can bring you a chuckle if needed. Comments or suggested content: please contact the pastor.

Bible/Religious Humor

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered…
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM .. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.

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Source: http://collegehills.org/305256.ihtml

http://https://www.thebackpew.com/

You can donate to Jeff on his website if he helped lift your spirits.

General Humor

COVID-19 Related

Sent in that someone found online:

– 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

– The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

– Day 17 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

– Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

– I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

– Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.

– You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers.

– This virus has done what no woman has been able to do … cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

– Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

– I swear my fridge just said “what the heck do you want now?”

– Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides.